Nora walked past me with her bag. She turned to me and smiled softly. “So I’ll see you downstairs?”
My brother and his bosses decided not to charge Nora with tampering with their investigation. It was more hassle booking her over this shit than they wanted to spend. What he did warn her about was that the FBI might not be so forgiving.
“Yes, I’ll be there shortly.”
I looked around the room making sure I didn’t forget anything, and that the room was somewhat left the same way I entered.
Yeah, okay, who am I kidding? I’m walking around here trying to stall from leaving. Leaving this hotel room felt like a chapter in my life was ending. I didn’t know if the new one would be better than the old one, but we’ll see.
There was a knock at the door, and I moved to it quickly.
“Did you forget something?” I called out and when I opened it, I felt as if the wind was knocked out of me.
I quickly recovered and said as flat as I could, “You’re a day late.” I turned and walked back into my room to grab my bags. When I turned, Ayana entered my room.
She looked around, and then looked at me. I could still see the bruise on her face, but I refused to let that falter me.
“Are you checking out?” she asked.
“Looks that way,” I replied being the asshole that I felt.
She grew quiet and I let her, but not for long. I said, while moving to the door, “Look, I have a plane to catch and Nora’s waiting for me.”
“Bradley, please. I just need a few minutes of your time. I just want to explain.”
All the emotions I felt for the last twenty-four hours came flooding back, and I dropped my bags at the door, turned and moved on her. “It’s too late for that shit, Ayana. When I wanted you to tell me what was going on, you didn’t. You promised me you would be here to explain and you weren’t. Instead, I found you lying in your own vomit again, something that I don’t want to ever fucking see again.”
“That wasn’t my fault,” she cried.
“Shit, Ana, it’s never your fucking fault. God, do you have any idea how it feels to see someone you love self-destruct like that? I mean, do you give a shit about what this is doing to me?”
“I do. I just needed to do this one thing. I wouldn’t have left the bar if my brother didn’t call me to say goodbye. I had to see him before he left. I didn’t think-”
My eyes rolled up to the sky and I swear I felt my blood vessels about to explode in my body. “I don’t want to hear that shit anymore. You never seem to think, and it’s always someone else’s fault and never yours. You can’t see how you put yourself in ridiculous situations, thinking you’re invincible when you’re not.”
Ayana moved closer to me and placed her hands on her hips, her voice rising with frustration. “What did you expect me to do, Brad? I couldn’t turn my back on my brother, not see him before he left. Considering the circumstances, I would probably never see him again, and I couldn’t turn my back on Noelle.”
“No one was asking you to, but you didn’t have to do it alone. Risking your life shouldn’t be a requirement.”
“You’re overreacting a little. I mean, Bradley, I never-”
Her words at that moment caused me to explode. I grabbed the lamp close to me and flung it across the room, hearing it shatter made Ayana jump slightly, but it only fueled me. “You almost fucking died three times, Ayana! I almost lost you, and all three times I happened to get to you just in time. You think I enjoyed seeing you like that?!”
“Bradley-”
She moved to me but I kept going. “You know what? Fuck it! I can’t do this anymore. It’s clear to me that I’m the only one that wants this. I’m done. I’ve had it up to here with your bullshit. You want to go half-cocked, thinking you can save the goddamn world by yourself, then go right ahead. I will not watch you destroy yourself and you will not destroy me.” I stared at her for a moment longer, and then turned to leave.
But, as it seemed, she has only begun to destroy me.
“I found out I was pregnant,” I heard her blurt out behind me.
I stopped dead in my tracks, but didn’t turn around. I couldn’t turn around.
“The last few nights we were together, after I came home from the hospital from being shot, is when I think it happened. I didn’t find out though, until well after you left, and God, I thought this was my chance to make things right with you. You know, I thought this was my second chance.” Finally, I turned around and she moved closer to me. She continued. “I was close to three months pregnant and that’s when I decided I needed to get my shit together. I needed to prove to you that you mattered, that we mattered. I wanted to be that strong woman for you and the baby I was carrying.” She took a deep breath and said softly, “But about three weeks after I found out about the baby, I was in a car accident.” I swallowed hard and closed my eyes as she spoke. “It was a… um… drunk driver that hit me and he totaled my brother’s car. I was trapped until some people that witnessed the crash and the cop on the scene got me out. The car was leaking gas and they didn’t want to wait… neither did I.” I opened my eyes and she watched me closely, looking for a sign from me, but I didn’t give her one. I was stuck on the fact that she was pregnant and I knew nothing about it.